Pronounciation

[jofish22]

Some of you may have seen my struggles at trying to ask for water at a restaurant in the United States. I have eventually adopted a strong accent for that one word of my order, in which I leave out the 't' altogether. "Can I have some warda, please?"

I found a worse word at Lowes the other day. Caulk. First he directed me to the cork. Then he looked shocked. (I think he thought I was asking for cock.) Then I eventually spelled it out, letter by letter. It's just not a word that I can find any acceptable pronounciation of with vowels that exist in my idiolect.

Perhaps slowly I will build up my own American practice sentences ("I need some caulk to stop the water from the faucet.."), my own private "Drinkin' Cutty Sark in the park in Harvard Yard I spilled chowder on Marky Mark's trousers." or some such thing.

Comments

[kdcayuga.livejournal.com]

oh that water, it gets a lot of people. I think the funniest water sentence ever is a camping memory from my stepfather (who is from Long Island) speaking to my brother. "Karl, go get me some water" turned into "Caalllll, go get me some wwarta'."

So about this caulk thing. If I try to say 'caulk' with a fake british accent it sounds like 'cock.' I am going to ask Karen and Sweden to say that for me on the phone (hoping that they haven't read this entry yet) and see if they say cock too. Then again it sounds a little like cock even when Americans say it. I think your best bet is to put it into context with other words (caulk gun, silocone caulk, latex bathroom caulk, etc etc) and hopefully do this only in stores that don't also sell sex toys (obviously). I personally, would stay away from hand gestures as well. I know this isn't funny, but it kind of is.

[jofish22.livejournal.com]

I think "silicone cock for the bathroom" is definitely the way to go.

And I think it's hilarious, personally.