jofish22 | Pronounciation

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Some of you may have seen my struggles at trying to ask for water at a restaurant in the United States. I have eventually adopted a strong accent for that one word of my order, in which I leave out the 't' altogether. "Can I have some warda, please?"

I found a worse word at Lowes the other day. Caulk. First he directed me to the cork. Then he looked shocked. (I think he thought I was asking for cock.) Then I eventually spelled it out, letter by letter. It's just not a word that I can find any acceptable pronounciation of with vowels that exist in my idiolect.

Perhaps slowly I will build up my own American practice sentences ("I need some caulk to stop the water from the faucet.."), my own private "Drinkin' Cutty Sark in the park in Harvard Yard I spilled chowder on Marky Mark's trousers." or some such thing.

Flat | Top-Level Comments Only

From:

kdcayuga.livejournal.com

oh that water, it gets a lot of people. I think the funniest water sentence ever is a camping memory from my stepfather (who is from Long Island) speaking to my brother. "Karl, go get me some water" turned into "Caalllll, go get me some wwarta'."

So about this caulk thing. If I try to say 'caulk' with a fake british accent it sounds like 'cock.' I am going to ask Karen and Sweden to say that for me on the phone (hoping that they haven't read this entry yet) and see if they say cock too. Then again it sounds a little like cock even when Americans say it. I think your best bet is to put it into context with other words (caulk gun, silocone caulk, latex bathroom caulk, etc etc) and hopefully do this only in stores that don't also sell sex toys (obviously). I personally, would stay away from hand gestures as well. I know this isn't funny, but it kind of is.

From:

jofish22.livejournal.com

I think "silicone cock for the bathroom" is definitely the way to go.

And I think it's hilarious, personally.

From:

ninjakitten

Don't worry. No one can say "caulk" without sounding somewhat obscene. ;) I just made the Boy say both words for me a few times, and did it myself, and the best I can work out is that "caulk" has a very, very slightly longer vowel sound and tiny bit of dipthong mouth-movement.

The simplest thing is probably to do what the Boy did when I was trying to elicit the word from him without saying it first, and call it "caulking". ;) M-W says that's also correct, and guys at hardware stores will probably not think you're asking for a good hard shag. Probably. ;)

Do you like ice in your water? I always ask for "a glass of ice water with a straw" and the Boy generally asks for "a glass of water without ice". Not that anyone in the US or Canada has trouble with our very boring accents, but the context of the glass and ice ought to clear it up for anyone. ;) ::thinks about it:: Mine seems to come out "wahder" with the d-ish sound from my tongue just touching the very back-bottom of that ridge in the mouth behind the teeth, which I have just forgotten the name of. *^_^* Which is odd, as a normal d-sound is from the middle-bottom of that. It's more like using that ridge as a stand-in for the teeth to make a t farther back in the mouth. How strange...

Sorry to ramble. Always been fascinated by idiolects. And words. *^_^*

From:

bipolarcurious.livejournal.com

Ha, I had the same issue recently, as I went out shopping for a caulking gun/caulk as a means to dissuade the Great Bed Bug Invasion. I went into a shop and asked the clerk (a young British gent, as it were) if they sold caulking guns, most definitely pronouncing it "cock", because I was pretty sure that's how it's pronounced. He smiled a little and asked me to repeat it, then called his boss over and said "Tell him what you want" and I, again, pronounced "Cock and a cocking gun", and the boss more or less ushered me out of the store.

However, the dear Mira looked up the pronounciation later, and it IS "cock", whether it gets one into embarassing situations or not. So you go right on demanding your cock, babe. The customer is always right!

From:

gustavolacerda.livejournal.com

LOL.

I would think that in your dialect (RP, no?), "cock" had a shorter vowel than "caulk". The "l" gets clipped out just like the "r" before consonants. i.e., approximately this:

"cock" -> [kok]
"cork" -> [ko:k]
"caulk" -> [kʊ:k]

From:

jdickert.livejournal.com

LOL - this is too funny! At my previous job, we were celebrating someone's birthday. My co-worker was offered some cake which she decided to accept with a saucy British accent, but it came out as: "Yes, I would looove some chocolate cock."

- BirdJen